I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
