Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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