is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
