He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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