She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
