My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Randomize
