3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
