By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
