maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
