Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
