woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
