i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
