This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
