I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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