I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
