I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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