How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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