So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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