Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
