i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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