dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
