Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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