After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
