she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
