margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
