WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
