I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
