UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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