How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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