I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Duck Duck Cougar?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
