i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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