I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
