Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
vagina is talking i cant
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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