I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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