She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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