Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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