No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
