Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think people are normalizing furries
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
