you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
