But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
