I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
