awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
