Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Randomize
