i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
