so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
