Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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