I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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