Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
