I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
