Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
